you shouldn’t wear makeup.
why isn’t your skin even?
you shouldn’t cut your hair.
why are your eyebrows so thick?
you shouldn’t diet so much.
why haven’t you lost weight?
you shouldn’t wear high heels.
why aren’t you a little taller?
you should lose a couple pounds
why aren’t you eating?
you should really learn about sikhi.
why are you so religious?
you shouldn’t be so loose.
why are you so conservative?
you should study and make something of yourself.
why do you flaunt your smarts? its intimidating.
you should be more independent
why don’t you just get a guy to do that?
you should focus on your career.
why don’t you have a boyfriend?
you shouldn’t care what people think
at least, that’s what i think.
what is a woman’s struggle? the truth is that these words are just a glimpse into the world that we see. these are literally just a sampling of contradictions that come out of the same mouth, without hesitation, without apology. these are the questions we face every day from those around us, and from the person looking back at us in the mirror.
because we are expected to be pretty without trying; skinny without exercising; keep our hair but not be too hairy; religious but not “too much” so; cultured but not too old fashioned; intelligent and driven but not overpowering… and the list goes on.
this is the life we live. so next time you’re about to question why a girl became the way she is, why she backed away from certain things and was drawn to others, think twice. no one can know another’s struggle without having lived it. for the sake of all humanity everywhere, think twice before scrutinizing, think thrice before judging, and do us all a favor. keep your damn mouth shut and your opinions to yourself.
for my sisters struggling with their own journeys. for my sisters trying to find who they are. for my sisters unhappy with who they see in the mirror. for my sisters who cry themselves to sleep because of words they heard not only from the men that surround them, but from their mothers, their grandmothers, their aunts, their friends.
for my sisters; i see the truth in you. i see love and light and everything you are is beautiful. be content, be confident. it will all be okay.